How we can Trumpify Britain

Without Presidential Executive Orders, the path to making Britain Great Again is far more complex. But, with enough prep, a hearty majority and a determined approach, things can be turned around.

Dear Reader,

Full disclosure, I write this article at the tail end of Inauguritis.

I had the privilege of being in Washington DC to see their version of the coronation, and believe me, it was wild. An entire week of dawn til, well, dawn, parties, events, balls and ceremonies. Every hotel was hosting some sort of black tie function every night of the week. Every restaurant and venue was converted into some sort of luncheon or soiree. And almost every single road in the centre of the capital gets locked down with police and military trucks on every corner. As with most things American, they definitely go big.

This year had the added backdrop of a bitterly cold winter, constantly sub zero and most of the time in minus double digits (celsius that is). As a result my week across the pond ended up being a rotation through a litany of seasonal super spreader events and by the time I took the red eye home, I was attempting to mummify myself in BA blankets while shivering in my seat. Needless to say whatever extreme cocktail of HPMV, RSV, H5N1 or Covid I brought home has felled me in ways I have never before experienced for the best part of a week. Even now I wonder whether I will come to from a phantasmagoric reverie to find writing this article has been a figment of my flu-addled imagination.

Meanwhile, it's been a long week in American politics.

Within moments of taking office, The Donald showed he meant business, leaving everyone this side of The Pond slack-jawed at how leadership can be effective, determined and in the interests of the nation.

How on earth has most of Europe become tied up in Globalist madness? Importing in the world's poor as our economies flat lined? Nodding along to dangerous and deranged cultist pseudo morality that led to kids mutilating their bodies to change gender? Paying China to churn out masses of so-called Green Tech in slave labour camps while burning record levels of fossil fuels so we could shut down our own businesses and proudly announce we're hitting self-imposed targets? It feels as though the last two decades have been an unhinged political hellscape and only now the West is snapping out of it.

It has also whet voter appetites for our own Trumpian revolution over here. But can it be done?

A Mad Idea…But Not Impossible

Well, first of all, Donald Trump's term as the 47th President will conclude at noon on January 20th 2028. It is in the American constitution that he can only serve two terms, and one has already been and gone. The dry run, it seems.

Our own General election in the UK can be held no later than 15th August 2029. Which gives me an idea! The Donald's mum was, of course, born in Scotland. A quick visit to HMPO and a few tariffs waved about in the right place and perhaps we could try to import The West's Great Saviour to stand for election here when he's done in The White House? I jest (well, partly).

But if that seems somewhat far fetched (although desperate times call for deperate measures) he could instead act as mentor to “Britain Trump” Nigel Farage, who judging by today's polling is currently leading the race to be in Number 10 (although there are many political furlongs to go).

Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

Now, with that out of the way, and say we have Nigel in charge, with an extra dose of Donaldism to act as policy rocket fuel, what then? Can the first 100 days of Faragism reflect what is taking place in America?

Well, Donald has managed to do some pretty determined things in just a few days in office. Deploying 32 Executive Orders so far (and counting), he has already binned off racist DEI, scrapped the gender crap, forced public officials back into their offices, started deportation flights, declared a national emergency at the border and granted agencies the ability to arrest illegals as well as deploying the army to the Southern border, left the WHO, binned off Net Zero targets, ensured supportive apparatchiks are given key positions in administration, frozen federal recruitment, reasserted the right to free speech and set up Doge. It's like every right minded British citizens wish list.

Trump learned first time around that total root and branch reform would be needed to cast off the yoke of woke, and that the first 100 days really count. That the deadly dead behind the eyes deadwood on The Hill would do all they could to kill off his plans, and so he has acted swiftly and assertively with sweeping Presidential Powers.

Meanwhile, just his presence has seen a ceasefire in Gaza as he strengthened support of Israel and has had Putin agreeing to sit down and negotiate. A dear friend of mine who sells ultra cool cyber intelligence products and dark kinetic widgets (who is a major Trumpist) has acknowledged that business is about to dwindle once again as a new era of peace approaches.

So the Playbook for Britain's Revolution has been written and is now in its production phase across the pond.

The only problem is, we don't have Presidents, so we don't have Executive Orders. Only with stonking majorities (the likes of which Starmer is currently enjoying and thus getting away with freezing pensioners, spaffing billions on Ed Miliband’s deranged green wankfests and releasing rapists into the wild to instead jail Tweeters) could such assertive action be taken. And even then there is a wedge of woke Whitehall wonks, a quagmire of quangos, a suffocation of Supreme Court Judges, the evil ECHR and a Gordian Knot laid by the Ghosts of Governments Gone to navigate. Probably with the millstone of bedwetting Tories who may well hold onto the odd Shire seat in some sort of future coalition to get a tasty majority over the line.

So let's pick off each tentacle of despair one at a time and manifest our own clear causeway to Greatness.

Photo by Heidi Fin on Unsplash

Whitehall

Operation Project needs to begin a few years out with preparation of removing from position would-be detractors, destabilisers and defiant draughtsmen one by one. Fail to enact Government policy in Whitehall, and see the door (minus pension and carriage clock). Waiting in the wings needs to be a ready made pool of talent set to take over. And of course, slash the number of bureaucrats overall by at least a third (ask Millei whether we can borrow his metaphorical chainsaw). Both can only be done with a big old Parliamentary majority to wave it through without the predictable outrage of The Blob, the Unions and their Leftist declinist friends.

Quangos

Let the bonfire truly begin. We've heard it before but we seem to just grow more and more bureaucratic satellites like mushrooms of mould in a dank cellar. They thrive in the darkness and enable rot to set in deep within the system. Some will be easier to axe than others, especially the high profile ones we have been told desperately need ‘independence’. This includes the Bank Of England which shouldn't have its own agenda above that of the Government and instead collude with pension funds to cover up their cock ups by cynically timing gilt sell offs before a budget that doesn't suit their own callous cause. You can't have economic policy if an intransigent product of the system works more closely with overpaid corporatists and deliberately defies the Government. Let the Bank of England boss be appointed by the PM as someone who already agrees with the economic programme people have voted for. ‘Independence’ all too often means anti-democratic. Meanwhile, cut membership to foreign bodies that no longer align with national interest, just as Trump has done with the WHO. Truly ‘Take Back Control’, not just say it.

Supreme Court

Thanks to Tony Blair we now have agitators in the highest court of the land willing to try to rumble any right wing government. Take away their play things by leaving the ECHR and seek to return full power to the Lord Chancellor, appointed by the Prime Minister. Again, the mislaid nomer of ‘independence’ means Woke arseholes in wigs happily rule the roost and there's little the voter can do about it through their elected officials.

The Great Repeal Act

Leaving the ECHR is only the beginning. Sadly the legislative footprints of precedence would still trample over any decisive Government Acts that wish to resurrect free speech, and restore common sense. Too much madness has been baked into UK legislation over the course of decades. This requires A Great Repeal Act. A concerted effort to instantly obliterated swathes of legislation that tramples all over freedom would be needed, including scrapping the Human Rights Act from the canons of the Commons too. Unfortunately of course, scrapping Human Rights sounds rather grim to ordinary folk. Something else that seems perversely named. It doesn't mean actually sending kids up chimneys or having Chop Chop Square established outside the Tower of London. Thankfully plenty of decent legislation and criminal law prevents barbarianism. What the HRA actually does is create a whole load of money spinning schemes to cosset criminals with the taxpayer forking out for the legal bills of both the lawyers defending the Government and the lawyers defending the crook. It is the only way to have a scorched earth policy on all the loopholes and lunacies lawyers use to litigate in favour of criminals, and persecute someone reported for a Non Crime Hate Incident at a mushroom farm in Scotland. Don't worry, the rest of the body of British Barrister's books is plenty enough to ensure wrong uns can't go about terrorising towns. Quite the contrary. Largely the very reason they do is because some sort of special exception means they can easily get away with malefaction.

Decks Cleared…Away We Go!

So with all those obstacles removed, the rest is pretty much a case of writing on the tabula rasa, and ensuring the whopping majority of MPs needed to deliver such root and branch reform are not, as the Conservatives battled with, a divided, screaming mess, the rest, as they say, is politics.

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash