The Secrets of the State Visit Dinner Circuit - and THAT Covfefe

I've been invited to a few bashes this week, and there are stories to tell...PLUS...I mop up The Chequers 'Covfefe'. WOWZERS

While The Donald has been squirrelled away in Windsor for the full Royal Jelly spa treatment, I’ve been darting around London and Windsor between studios, live points and dinners with Political Glitterati from both sides of The Pond.

AMBASSADOR, YOU’RE REALLY SPOILING US!

First off, let’s talk about why the closest thing America has to a Royal Family were this time in the 12th Century fortress built for William The Conqueror, and not free-wheeling in a golden carriage down The Mall.

Well, because it is a fortress…

We all know it’s not because Buckingham Palace has the decorators in. And it is not because Windsor marks a personalised upgrade for the Trump posse, whether the Leader of The Free World believes the gaslighting or not.

Everything from the timing of this visit - during party conference season while Parliament is in recess and just ahead of the Labour Party Conference - to the closed door lavish receptions, has been meticulously curated for political reasons. And rightly so. After all, that is what these state visits are all about. Roll out the shiniest Royals to do some diplomatic dazzling.

Starmer absolutely did not want his special friend being subjected to the British version of Trump Derangement Syndrome by mad leftists in London, led by members of his own party from that toxic little “no grooming gangs in London” Mayor to his moronic backbenchers who would doubtless have made a scene from the green benches too, had Trump been given the Obama honour of addressing Parliament.

He also wanted the Royals to do all the mollifying and magic in order that he can grandstand in 10 days time and brag about his big wins from the State Visit.

And it was all going to plan until the Presser, when Slippery Starmer rather looked as though he hoped the ground would swallow him up.

I will do an analysis of the Chequers Covfefe and unpack all the delicious cringeworthy moments.

But for now let’s talk about the secrets spilled and scenes seen at the various boozy banquets in The Capital… And yes, this Super Sized American serving is going to be for Paid Subscribers only…

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